On Being a Mother of Two

I once heard someone say "you're not really a mother until you have two." I resented that comment at the time, but I now understand exactly what it meant, and that there is some truth to it. Not that she is not a mother per se, but a woman has not embraced all that motherhood entails-- has not begun to grasp its depth and width and breadth-- until there are two. For me, becoming a mother of two has been an enlightening experience, and I decided to jot down a few observations on what I've learned thus far.

The evening hours are a grand production for the mother of two, an exercise in skill and tactical prowess at best. With practice, one becomes a mastermind of logistics, creating intricate plans to coordinate the timing of the evening's activities. Sometimes the whole thing comes off seamlessly, and at others, well, even the best laid plans fall miserably short and much crying is done by all. Nevertheless, I am quickly developing the strategic capabilities of a five star general and will soon be able to lead a small army.

I hear in the old days they bathed the whole family once a week, all at the same time, all in the same water. This now makes perfect sense to me and sounds like a grand idea.

As a mother of one, I'd never thought of just how many people and objects could be squeezed into a tiny bathroom. I now know that it is exactly three bodies, one bouncer, one bath cradle, and three tub toys. (Soap, towels and a big cup are a plus). Any more, and the bathroom becomes an unnavigable sea of flesh and plastic.


On the subject of baths, a shower for mom, if one can be arranged, is a rare gift to be treasured.

At the precise moment when a mother's attention is most needed by a child, it will also be needed by his sibling. They plan this. Luckily mothers can multitask, so its not a problem. For this reason, however, quality time with the children is not the same as quality time with an individual child. The latter must happen when the sibling is elsewhere.

Multi-tasking is a feminine gift. A father cannot be expected to function on the level of a mother of two, or even a mother of one for that matter. He is simply a father, and that's okay. ("After all, he's just a man." Thanks, Tammy Wynette.)

If you leave the house without a complete change of clothes for both children, even just for 5 minutes, you can expect that the child without extra clothing WILL soil his clothes with the most disgusting substance he can muster. They plan this also.

If you choose to wash your hands every time they come into contact with a sticky, slimy, germy or otherwise nasty substance, what is left of them will resemble pink sandpaper. There is no lotion or cream in the world that will help -- these are your new hands.

Since becoming a mother of two, simple words have become hilariously funny-- Words like "hobby," and "pedicure," and "fashion." Meanwhile others have taken on dire seriousness, such as "coffee" and "nap." On the subject of caffeine, it is no longer a recreational drug in my home-- it is a staple. I'm certain it was put on earth by God as a means of survival.

With all that said, mothering two children is a gift, times two. Being entrusted with the responsibility of growing two precious little minds and bodies is both flattering and humbling. It is both a privilege and an immense challenge. Its the hardest job on earth and the most rewarding. Its the job I was made for, and it's mine for just a little while.