Tide Wars - Courage in the Face of the Mundane

Just a thought that has been on my mind today.. I remember not too long ago, before I embarked on this grand adventure that is stay-at-home-momhood, wondering if I had what it takes.. Listening to those who said "Oh, you'll be bored" and knowing myself well enough to suspect that would not be my problem, yet still wondering if I had the courage it would take.. Could I do this thing? Get dressed every morning and plan activities for myself and my child of my own volition? Prepare meals for my family, shop for supplies, plan endless field trips and craft projects? To get to the point, I have learned that it is not those things at all that require great courage.. for those are the things that come so naturally, the things that made me want to be a SAHM to begin with. No, there are far larger hurdles than those, and countless more treacherous stretches of mire in which to become ensnared.

For example.. consider the following contrasts:

Filling my days with playdates, trips to the park, and various other adventures.. even with a cranky, screaming, 45 lb toddler.. easy as pie. Staying at home with that same toddler and tackling a mounting list of household chores, not so easy.

Painting the kitchen to a homier hue, knitting scarves for Christmas presents, inventing a nutritious pudding Seth will eat, organizing Don's sock drawer and designing a new window shade for Seth's room.. simple, fun even. Finishing one project before beginning another.. obviously a task requiring near impossible fortitude.

And of course, diligently surfing the internet at 1:00 A.M. for the amazingly low-cost product that will put the finishing touch on our home, flavor Don's coffee, make Seth smile, serve as the last item of clothing I'll ever need (this season), and/or answer the latest hairbrained question on my mind.. easy. All right its down right exhilerating. Turning off the computer and getting a good night's rest so I can have a fresh face for my work-weary hubby and bushy tailed toddler at 7:00 a.m... Hmm, let's just say I'm working on it. (Those of you with any cajun heritage will recognize this phenomenon as "making the Rugaru," a habit I've found is hard to break.)

So am I bored, you ask? Not a chance. I don't think that emotion exists in my repertoire, as it would seem to require running out of activities. Eventually, though, a mom has just got to make friends with the unglamorous -- the drab, necessary details of life, that will always be there-- if not to conquer, to make peace in the least, and maybe introduce them to joy. That, I've found, takes courage. So its toward that valiant horizon I charge - not because I'm feeling particularly courageous, but because I believe wholeheartedly that the One who gave me this job will also give me the ability to do it well. Do I have what it takes? You bet. I just thank God He's not through with me yet.