The How

It never ceases to amaze me how a person can read the same bible for years, and one day experience a moment of sheer revelation, when the words of a familiar verse seem to leap off the page with new meaning, shedding light on some new spiritual truth just when its needed most. I guess that’s why its called the “living” Word of God, and what a treasure it is! I had one of those moments recently that is still echoing in my mind.

Our women’s bible study group had been studying the book of Esther, using a guide written by Beth Moore, aptly titled “Esther: Its Tough Being a Woman.” During each week of the study, in addition to delving into Esther’s story, we discussed a way in which it’s difficult to be a woman, referred to as a “scenario.” If any of us thought we were in for a pity party, we were wrong. As the study drew to a close, each of our scenarios was answered with a “flip-side” in scripture. In every case, the scripture verse or verses turned the scenario on its head, making it plain that it is we, women, who make being a woman “tough,” and providing the antidote in the simple command to TRUST. Trust, we learned, is the key that turns “the detours of adversity into highways of destiny.”

The scenario we were studying that day went like this: “Its tough being a woman who feels responsible for the HOW.” To any man reading this, that may sound strange, but I think every woman can instantly relate. How are we going to do all we need to do in 24 hours? How can this problem be solved? How is that situation going to work out? Those questions don’t just ring in our ears, they demand answers. We’re so accustomed to our self-appointed role of responsibility, especially when it comes to our families, we don’t even give it a second thought. After all, if anyone is going to figure out how, its going to have to be us! The biblical truth though, is that our daily struggle to “figure it out” amounts to nothing more than a great unnecessary weight on our shoulders.

Two bible verses were given to point the way to the truth: 2 Peter 2:9 and Psalm 103:14. Both begin with the same four words: The…Lord…Knows…How. “The Lord KNOWS how to rescue godly men from trials” says Peter. “The Lord KNOWS how we were formed, and remembers that we are dust” sings David. Its okay that I don’t know how its all going to work out. Praise the Lord, God KNOWS! Look deeper and the truth of those words gets even richer. Because He “knows how we were formed” he knows our needs better than we do. Because he “remembers that we are dust” he doesn’t expect us to have perfect Godly wisdom. According to Peter, not only does he know “how to rescue the godly,” but he also “knows how…to hold the unrighteous for punishment until the day of judgment,” so we need not be concerned with the wrongdoings of others. I can't tell you feeling of relief it brings every time I think of those precious words, "The Lord knows how." Maybe its because freedom from that responsibility brings the freedom to embrace the joy we were made for.

As I ponder on what it means to trust God with the hows of life, I find myself coming back once again to Jesus’ command that we become “like little children.” I’m blessed to have two beautiful examples in my home of exactly what little children are like. I can tell you that they don’t think a lot about the hows of life—they just tell Momma or Daddy what they need. Last night one of my little ones came to me in the night with tear filled eyes, and said “Momma, my ear hurts.” He didn’t know how I was going to make it better, but he trusted that somehow I would. He didn’t tell me he needed two teaspoons of ibuprofen, a warm towel, and a call to the doctor in the morning. He simply said “it hurts.”

Wouldn’t it be wonderful, if we returned to that point of simplicity in our relationships with God? It is a simplicity that calls for merely articulating our simple need, without eloquence or rehashing the all painful details, (the Lord knows them after all) and then thanking God that he can take it from there. Sure, we will still have work to do, but we trust that through the gift of his holy spirit, we will have both the strength to do our part and the wisdom to know what it is. When we look back, we'll be amazed at how Daddy made it all better. What loving parent would do any less?

100 Things - Part 2

This post has been edited for brevity..

51. I love to surf the web, usually when my kids are asleep.

54. I love all things Asian—art, jewelry, décor, food, etc.

58. I love second hand clothing stores, especially Plato’s Closet.

60. Marrying my hubby was the best thing I ever did. He and his family have been a true Godsend in my life.

67. I’m really blessed to be able to say that my mom and dad are two of my best friends.
68. If you’d told me when I was a teenager that I would ever say that, I would probably have called you crazy.
69. If you divided my life into chapters, this would be my favorite one so far.
70. I was in the working world long enough to find out that I really don’t like it.

73. My only resolution this year is to wake up every morning deciding to be joyful, and to go about my day expecting a blessing.
74. God never fails to provide sources of joy and blessing.

89. God has been SO good to me.
90. My childhood wasn’t all sunshine and roses, but I’m thankful for every part of it.
91. God showed me through my experience with infertility that I am definitely not in control.
92. God taught me through my experience with miscarriage to lean on him daily.
93. God has shown me through every tear I’ve cried, how to be a comfort to others.
94. God is showing me every day that his grace is enough.
95. I can say that God is good, not in spite of my past, but because of it.
96. The day Seth was born I promised God I would spend the rest of my life telling the world how GOOD he is.
97. I can’t even count my blessings anymore.. they are like the stars.
98. I am the last person on earth who deserved to be so blessed.
99. I’m so thankful that Jesus took my place and made it possible for me to receive God’s grace.
100. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future.. and I know he has GREAT plans.  No matter what happens, His grace will be sufficient for me.

New Rules at My House for the Christmas Season

1. Its a known fact that Santa packs his sleigh 10 days before Christmas. Any changes made to one's wish list after that time probably won't be honored. Sorry honey, the sleigh is all packed!
(Don't bother begging Santa to repack, by the way.. he's surely wearing his earmuffs.. its the North Pole!)

2. Santa's gifts will not be wrapped in pretty striped paper like in the Polar Express movie. Why? Well because we live in the South... the humidity would ruin the paper. (That movie was obviously made in the North.)

3. During the entire month of December, if Santa sees toys scattered on the living room floor, he may not stop here, for fear of slipping!

4. If you eat too many Christmas cookies, there will be none left for Santa and his reindeer.

5. There is no T.V. watching time limit during the holidays, so long as it is a Christmas movie or some wholesome programming. Its not that Momma doesn't want you underfoot while I'm wrapping, baking, cleaning, etc.. Christmas movies help to get your heart in the spirit of Christmas, and besides this is the perfect time of year to slow down and relax. (Right?)

6. Going to bed on time, cleaning your plate at dinner and helping Mom are all great ways to stay on Santa's nice list. Complaining about any of the above is a sure way to get on the naughty list.

7. Christmas is about "getting" alright, but its not about getting presents. Its about getting your heart ready to celebrate the birth of Jesus. The more love, joy, peace, humility and gratitude in our hearts, the happier we will all be on Christmas morning, guaranteed!

From the mouths of babes.. the entertainment floweth

Seth: Daniel, would you mind moving away from the TV?
Dan: No.
Seth: You mean you don't mind?
Dan: No.
Seth: Then will you?
Dan: No.
Seth: Daniel, you're being unreasonable. You're fired!
__________

Daniel: I'm a superhero!
Mom: Really?
Daniel: Sure, of course!
Mom: Well what kind of superhero are you?
Daniel: Um.. let's see.. I think maybe RED.
Mom: No, I mean what are your superpowers? What can you do?
Daniel: I shake a booty! I good dancer!

Indeed he is.

Same Hat, Very Different Boy

People say my boys look alike. Other than possibly the smile, I disagree. Maybe its because I live with them to know how truly different they are. I do think that each one is quite handsome--okay, beautiful, in his own way.

Seth, 21 months

Daniel, 26 months

All for Jesus

When I tire of the daily grind
and struggle to go on
I lift my hands to the heavens and cry,
Its all for you, my Lord!
Then imagine it was He who supped
With these tiny crusted spoons
And wash them with my whole heart
While singing to Him a song.
I neatly fold His little clothes
And place them in His drawer
And scrub the floors of His footprints
The sticky crumbs and all
Then seeing His smile
in my children’s eyes
Hearing His joy in their shouts
I find its not that hard to do
When I remember who its truly all about.

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might. -- Ecclesiastes 9:10
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. --Colossians 3:23

100 Things - Part One

I've noticed that it seems to be the trend in blogging lately to include a list of 100 or so interesting factoids about oneself. I think I've finally progressed to the point in life where I understand that life is not about me, so I've been reluctant up to now to undertake such a task. It occurs to me, however, that this might be a useful exercise in self-awareness.

I wrote a poem many years ago that began "Chicken me - I lack the spunk to be a thing." In some ways, I could write the same thing today. I think sometimes I try to blend in with the crowd so much that its not clear, even to me, just who exactly I am in my God-given uniqueness. So here I go, gathering the courage to be me. Ready or not, here I come.

1. I was born on the bayou in Thibodaux, Louisiana. For those unfamiliar, this is a beautiful, small wetland community near the edge of the continent, where people of mostly cajun French heritage enjoy life, love, food, and music more than anywhere else in the world. I no longer live there, but Thibodaux is an integral part of who I am.


2. I am a graduate of Louisiana State University. Geaux Tigers!!!


3. I attended college part time during my last year of high school. Because of this and some clep tests, I finished college early and was unleashed on the world at age 20, brainy but totally clueless.


4. I have a bachelors degree in English with a concentration in Language. (That means grammar, semantics and rhetoric.. but I usually just say I have a degree in English grammar.)


5. I have a minor in Psychology.


6. I originally majored in psychology and minored in English, but switched them before my last semester because I decided I'd rather get married and have babies than go to grad school.


7. I didn't know then that, in the time it would take me to have a baby, I could have gone to grad school twice. Ha! No regrets.


8. I have a habit of calling the people in my household silly pet names such as Boogie, Sugarlove, Honeypie, Dannybug, Sweetcheeks, Babylove, Sethiepoo, etc.


9. I tend to get stuck on one petname and overuse it. I've used "Boogie," so much so that until recently my youngest child thought this was his name. (He does like to dance more than anyone else in the household, so he earned the nickname honestly.)
   
10. I'm fascinated with dialects, particularly those of South Louisiana, and once dreamed of researching their origins, borders, etc., and creating a dialect map of the state.


11. Growing up, I had two heroes-- Helen Steiner Rice and Jane Goodall. I wanted to be one of these women when I grew up.. who know I could be both? In accordance with God's since of humor, it turns out I'm a writer in a house full of monkeys!


12. I am a CLA (Certified Legal Assistant) and a notary public.


13. I volunteer for my church, First Baptist of Bossier, the Preeclampsia Foundation and Prevent Child Abuse Louisiana.


14. I am an artist, but haven't done anything artistic in a long time.


15. Over the years, I've done charcoal portraits, pencil sketching, oil painting, watercolor painting, calligraphy, murals, woodburning, wood carving, soap carving, clay sculpture, paper sculpture, and probably other things I've forgotten.


16. I could write poetry all day long. In high school, I filled several five-subject notebooks with poetry, some of it hilarious, some nonsense, some inspirational. Most of it is now lost.


17. I traveled to Europe when I was 15, visiting Athens, Rome, Florence, Paris and London. I earned 6 hours of college credit in Art and Architecture for this trip.


18. I would love to take that trip over again, or one like it, with my husband.


19. I have been married 10 1/2 years and love my husband more with each passing year.


20. I am passionate about my children's education and character development.


21. I worked as a paralegal for nine years, then left to become a stay at home mom-- definitely the best career move ever made.


22. I strive to live so that Christianity is not just my religion, but my way of life.
23. I play the clarinet, organ and harmonica.. not necessarily well, but I can play them.
24. I used to speak fluent Spanish.


25. There have been six (6) human beings to inhabit my body, besides myself. Two are still living, the rest died in utero at various stages of development.


26. Call me crazy, but I chose to name the babies I lost, regardless of the fact that I only know the sex of one of them. I decided it was my perogative as their mother to choose a sex and name them if it helped me heal. I firmly believe that someday I will hold Maria, Gabriel, Chloe and Anthony (twins) in my arms.


27. My first child, Maria Elizabeth, was stillborn in December 1999. My one regret is not holding her longer or taking pictures of her, even if no one ever saw them but me.
28. I used to visit Maria's grave often, but now haven't been there in a few years.
29. I struggled with infertilty and miscarriage for 2 1/2 years after Maria was born. Those were what I call "the growing years" --growing hurts, but its good for you.
30. I am for all practical purposes blind in my right eye. The eye is not completely unable to see, but it's so weak that my brain has turned it off. I'm completely adapted to this and scarcely notice it.
31. My favorite color is midnight blue--not navy, but the true midnight blue in the 64 crayola box, with a just hint of green in it. This is the exact color of the water in the Adriatic and Mediterranean Seas, one reason I want to go back.
32. I have always had a fear of drowning or suffocating.
33. In spite of the above, I recently became a certified scuba diver by the sheer grace of God. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength!
34. I am terrified of flying. I fly only when I have to and then only when heavily sedated.
35. I don't do roller coasters-- not even the slow kiddie kind. I even get butterflies on the superslide. Falling just isn't a pleasurable sensation for me.
36. I have OCD, not to be confused with obsessive compulsive personality, in which a person is extremely organized, neat and in-control... I wish I were so lucky. No, instead I have the senseless, quirky, need medication to function in society kind. Hopefully my kids missed that gene.
37. I am extremely disorganized, but I'm working on it.
38. I have a bad habit of staying up until 2 A.M. or later, just enjoying the quiet time by myself.
39. I hope to take a course in underwater photography next year.
40. I love Disney World and basically live from trip to trip.
41. I'm totally hooked on Grey's Anatomy.
42. I love Joyce Meyer's show "Enjoying Everyday Life." She inspires me, uplifts me, and cracks me up.
43. I love the combination of dark chocolate and peppermint.
44. My favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip.
45. I'm a pretty good cook.
46. I like to experiment with new recipes, improvise and sometimes make up my own.
47. I am not a baker, but my hubby is.
48. I love to sleep (just not necessarily at night). Napping is my favorite hobby.
49. I love to crochet. I also knit, but crocheting is more fun.
50. I love to sew. The best gift I ever got was the Singer sewing machine my hubby gave me for Christmas in '97, just before we were married.

Chef Seth

I let Seth prepare dinner for us last night from his Disney cook book (with help at the stove of course). He chose to make Pooh's French Toast, and it was delicious! Here is the little chef about to get started.

The Luau

Okay, today was the day I had promised Seth we would finally set up the slip-and-slide in the back yard and have a "wipeout" party. It also happened to be the day my cold turned into a nasty case of bronchitis, and after getting a shot in each hip this morning, I was just not in the mood to hurl my body at wet plastic. The consolation prize? An indoor luau, complete with costumes, hawaiian music and a few games of limbo (which I might add Daniel is quite good at.) If you ever want to do this, be sure to rent Disney's Sing-A-Long Beach Party. The hula dance to "Pearly Shells" with hand motions is sooo cute. Seth did the motions with me, but refused to wear seashells around his neck while he danced, despite the burly Hawaiian men on the screen wearing them. "I'm just not a pearly shell kind of guy" he explained. Silly me. Actually I think he only wore his costume because he got to take off his shirt, which made him feel a little like the Incredible Hulk. Enjoy!

Provision from Above

"His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me." -- An old gospel hymn.

As you may know, Donald and I have decided to take a leap of faith and invest once again in his continuing education, this time for a PhD in Nursing. In many ways, as we prayed about this decision, we have felt led by God that this was the right next step for Don, and for our family, even though on the surface it seemed impractical, if not impossible. The events of the past few weeks have proved no exception.

The opportunity for Don to attend the University of Texas at Tyler, entirely online, with a local advisor, practically fell into our laps earlier this year. The problem was going to be paying for it. If you know us, you know that my going back to work is not an option. Both Don and the kids need me too much here, and those needs only stand to increase over the coming years.

On the other hand, sending Don to the hospital to work more hours was not an option either. These years with the boys are far too precious for him to miss. If anything, we need him to be able to cut back on his hours and be at home more. Loans were not a promising option, since we still have student loans to pay back, and the job on the other side of this hurdle isn't likely to be more lucritive than his current one. Logically, it was an impossibility.

Thankfully, our God does not deal in logic and delights in bringing the impossible to light! Here's what has happened in the past month, culminating in a great big happening yesterday.

1. We learned that University of Texas will make a special exception and waive out-of-state tuition since there is no program of this kind in the state of Louisiana, cutting the tuition almost in half.

2. The University of Texas awarded Don a $1,000 competitive scholarship which we did not apply for, simply on the basis of merit through his CV and application essay. (I knew that degree in English would come in handy!)

3. We learned that graduate studies are covered by a national program to pay back in full the student loans of nurses working at certain hospitals, of which LSUHSC Shreveport is one. (We applied for this program twice before, but did not have enough debt to qualify.)

4. We were offered a federal Stafford loan which would pay Don's tuition, plus enough extra allow him to work about two days less each month. (This loan would be just enough to put us over the threshold of eligibility for the federal loan repayment program!)

5. Yesterday, we learned that Don has been awarded a special $3,000 scholarship by the American Legion, renewable every year while he is in school. There are 20 of these awarded nationwide each year to nurses dedicated to working in the field of pediatric respiratory disease.

Can you say "YAY, GOD?"

On a slightly different but related topic, Don has been asked by a local opthamologist to travel to Moscow (yes, Russia) in September to teach nurses there how to prevent blindness in premature newborns through proper oxygen therapy. It's a program Don is championing here at LSU and is apparently very much needed in Russia. That is a simplified explanation of a complicated series of events, but suffice it to say we have taken another leap of faith and bought a plane ticket to Moscow! As much as Don loves to teach, loves to travel, and loves to help children, nothing could be more up his alley. The opthamologist wrote a glowing letter to LSU's administration this week encouraging them to pay for Don's trip, so we will see what happens. Whatever the outcome, I have no doubt we are in good hands.

P.S. - Seth's reaction to the news of Don's scholarship: "We won a ship? What kind of ship? Is it a big ship? How fast does it go?" Priceless.

Food Fun

Sometimes you just gotta make a mess!







Lesson for the week: life is a little messy sometimes, and that's okay!
All that matters is that you're having fun, and there are no carpeted surfaces nearby. ;-)


On another note, Seth has been asking me since Christmas to help him make a "ratattoille" (spelling?) Well we can say it, and now prepare it, sort of, so who cares if we can spell it? This is a photo of our masterpiece, which was actually quite tasty, and healthy to boot! We made a white cheese sauce with cream and mozzarella, then tinted small portions to every color of the rainbow, and finally drizzled the colored sauce over a ring of wheat crackers. The little chef was quite proud of his creation.

I Left My Heart in Key Largo

My hubby and I just returned from a much needed vacation in Key Largo, without the kids. All I can say is "Wow." We found a diver's paradise, and eachother again. It's a place that words cannot describe, so I'll let the pictures tell the story for me. Enjoy!

Reflections on Motherhood

We are the Mamas,
a schizophrenic brood,
But we don’t listen to the voices
in our heads. Not anymore.
We learned long ago
that those cannot be pleased.
Just as we sat to fingerpaint,
they reminded us of the dishes
in the sink.
And again as we occasionally
broke down and scrubbed our floors
“You know you shouldn’t use the T.V.
for a babysitter.”
No, we learned long ago
the delicate art
of showing them all the door.
Of standing tall
with an unapologetic look
that says “Shut up...
I’m surviving here.”
Eventually, for each of us, a louder,
stronger voice had to be found.
Our own brand of motherhood,
perfected on the fly.
Right or wrong,
bought with the tears of
lessons learned.
Promising nothing,
but the best that we can do,
And all our hearts
poured into this thing we call
motherhood.

The Plans I Have For You

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, to give you a future and a hope -- plans to prosper you and not to harm you." --Jeremiah

My husband and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary last week. As part of the celebration, we opened a time capsule we had sealed 10 years earlier. Inside the capsule were newspaper clippings, product wrappers, wedding momentos, photos of our first days together, and of course lots of wonderful memories. But what I think we enjoyed the most was our "letters to the future." These were not really letters per se, but more like wish lists--what each of us dreamed for our future. I think we were both surprised to look back at how meager our wildest dreams now seemed, and how we'd not only met, but surpassed them. Or how we'd hoped for one thing, while something much different but better had come to pass. As we sat reading them, we would each remark "That's all we wanted?" or "Ha! If we'd only known what was in store!" Still on other subjects, it was more like "We wanted what? -- well, that wouldn't have been any good. Glad God didn't listen to us on that one!"

All I wanted was to be a mother of two by the time I opened the capsule. Well, of course I am now, and I suppose God could have just as easily granted that wish in the first years of our marriage, but what a journey we would have missed! My immature mind couldn't have imagined how much I'd cherish the memories made in those years when it was just us, when we prayed for a baby, but the time had not yet come. Or how we would grow through tragedy and tears, and what a gift these children would be when they finally arrived. I could go on, but suffice it to say our plans were far inferior to God's.

It all leads me to the conclusion that all we ever need pray is for God's will. We have such tunnel vision, such limited perspective of our own needs! Surely the Lord is happy to entertain our wish list, and its good for us to make our hearts desires known, but we should ultimately acknowledge and understand that only He knows what is best. Beyond that, we should always trust His heart, even when we can't trace his hand. We are his beloved children after all, and he KNOWS the plans he has for us, plans far above and beyond any we could make, plans to prosper us, and not to harm us.

A Quick Note

Life is great.. the kids are great.. all is well and what isn't is par for the course. Seth is apparently repeating his terrible twos, trying the boundaries at every turn, sassing anyone who attempts to assert authority over him, just to make sure he's not too big for a spanking. I assure you, he is not! Dan is cutting his molars, but otherwise doing great. He started feeding himself with a spoon and fork this week. He has also graduated out of his crib and into the trundle bed beside Seth's. I know it seems a little early, but it has greatly helped his nighttime routine, since I can now lay beside him until he drifts off.

I just have to add a plug for a book I just read. I don't read books, mind you. I sat down to flip through this one I had bought as a gift and was riveted. After a few hours I realized I had read the entire thing and, what's more, I will never be the same after reading it. It is called Embraced By The Light. If you haven't read it.. go get a copy at your local library and do so. Seriously, this thing should be required reading for being human. One warning: do not read before bed.. it has an energizing effect, at least it did for me. I'll have to write more later . . . duty calls.

Don't Wanna Miss a Thing

"I could stay awake just to hear you breathing.. Watch you smile while you are sleeping.. While you're far away and dreaming... I could stay lost in this moment forever.. Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure.. I don't wanna miss one smile.. I don't wanna miss one kiss.. I just wanna hold you close, feel your heart so close to mine.. And stay here in this moment for all the rest of time. I don't wanna close my eyes 'cause I'd miss you, babe. And I don't wanna miss a thing."

-- Aerosmith, circa 1998

Just about anyone who has talked to me in the past week knows that my 15-month-old son is going through a severe attachment phase.. that is to say he has a complete meltdown if he is not physically attached to his Momma. I confess, I've done my share of complaining about it. The daytime hours are tolerable-- granted I could get more done if I could velcro the child to my back--but its those late evening hours just before bedtime that would try the patience of Job... when I want to just put him in his crib, put on some headphones and never look back.

Tonight was no exception. I rocked, I sang, I even used the shirt off of my back as a pillowcase so he could smell me near him... anything to escape! There was so much to be done, and I was already so tired. Finally, he fell asleep. As I stood there hunched over the crib with my hand still on his back, not daring to move, I looked at his sleeping body, as if for the first time. I saw the golden ringlets in his hair, the way his pouty mouth hung open, drooling on the pillow, even his chubby little feet, showing a faint gray on the bottoms from a floor that needs mopping. I probably spent the next ten minutes that way, just soaking it in. Maybe the Holy Spirit moved in my heart, maybe I just woke up and saw what was right there in front of me, but suddenly all I could think of was how precious these moments are. Tears of gratitude mixed with remorse welled up in my eyes, and I knew without a doubt that no matter how long I had to stand there, I was exactly where I needed to be.

Sure my back is sore, sure I'm way behind on my to-do list, but you know what? Chances are this is the last time a one-year-old flaxen-haired cherub of a boy will grace this home. And very likely its the last time he will ever be this attached to me. These are the moments I will treasure for the rest of my life. I don't wanna miss a thing.


"Behold, children of a gift from the Lord."

This week in our world..

Seth has two new words.. Spikin' and Turbo. These will be used at every possible opportunity. They apparently mean awesome and extremely, respectively. A few minutes ago I caught him washing his hands with five pumps of soap (we have a one pump rule). When I chastized him, his response was, "But Mom, I was TURBO dirty!"

Saturday we attended the local Fall Festival. If you haven't gotten photos yet, you will soon. There Seth met a girl who used to be in his class at school, but has since had dramatic health problems and become confined to a wheel chair, where she is tube fed and unable to speak. When Seth spoke to her, she became visibly very excited to see him. Meeting her has apparently had a profound impact on Seth and remains in the back of his thoughts at all times. He often asks me if I think God will heal her and what he can do to help her. I assured him that nothing is impossible with God and told him that the best thing he can do is to pray for her and her family. Her name is Piper by the way.

Sunday morning, I was scheduled to work in the infants room at our church during worship hour. We were 15 minutes late arriving and I first had to drop off the boys in their classrooms. Daniel showed his usual display of heart-wrenching separation anxiety, then it was upstairs to Seth's class, where we waited in line for our turn to check in. While we waited, Seth worried out loud about his friend Piper's lips, and how chapped and cracked they were. When we finally reached the front of the line, he looked up at me asked, "Mom, do you think we could pray her right now?" So there we knelt, in the middle of Tiny Town, to pray for Piper. Nothing else was more important in that moment. I have no doubt that Christ lives in that little boy's heart.

Daniel's favorite word lately is "Uh-oh!" Needless to say, he makes a lot of uh-ohs around our house. He and Seth are taking an interest in the same TV shows, which is convenient.. usually those with music. Dan loves nothing more than to shake his little rump to a good beat. Seth loves the Saturday morning show on DayStar called GodRocks. It has taught him some powerful scripture through rock music, and he performs them any chance he gets. If you haven't already, be sure to check out "Seth Jammin" on YouTube.

Daniel started swimming lessons this week. Lets just say it was less than smooth sailing. If we don't have a better time next week, we'll put the whole thing off for a few months, till this stranger anxiety phase passes.

The Latest from the Merry Go Round

So much for weekly updates, huh? Guess we'll have to settle for semi-monthly. So much is happening so fast, I forget half of it before I have a chance to write it down. I know I'm going to miss telling all of you about some of the really good stuff here, but until the Danimal can be trusted in the study, we're going to be limited to my memory at the rare times when I can sneak in here alone!

So here's what I can remember from the past few weeks.. Seth is in piano lessons and really loving it. He recently became very distressed however and announced that he does not have a "middle finger." His must be missing, he cried, since he's sure there are only four, two on the left and two on the right, with nothing growing in the middle! I assured him his fingers were fine, explained that the thumb was counted as a finger in piano, and resolved to call his third digit "tall man" from now on. At this, he quickly retorted: "Well if Mr. Thumb is going to be a finger now, I guess we'd better start calling him Shortman!"

Seth is enjoying 4 yr old pre-K and becoming quite the ladies man. One little girl in particular has caught his attention, and he has apparently asked her to marry him when they "get big." To his delight, she said "yes." Just for the record, her name is Natalie. I had explained to him one night, after watching Aladdin, that God knows the name of the girl he will marry someday and even though we don't know her name, we can still pray for her. That night after our prayers were said, he whispered to me, "Mom, when I grow up, if I get married to Natalie from school, I'm going to kiss her sideways all the time."

Daniel is recovering from a stomach virus and making up for lost time on all fronts. He has acquired a knack for opening containers with his teeth, and goes after anything that will either redocorate a room in our house or fill his bottomless tummy. This week's top contenders have been face powder (my bedroom is now Transluscent Ivory.. turns out its not so translucent afterall); pancake mix, Quaker oats, and today's special, guzzling Aunt Jemima right from the bottle! Yes, I do feed him, I promise. His other recent passions are screaming/squealing at the top of his lungs when life doesn't go his way, saying a very redneck "Hi" (more like Haaa) to everyone who looks his way, and spinning around in circles laughing and shouting "Dizzy! Dizzy!"

That's all for now, folks... check back soon.

New Leaf Day One!

Okay, I'm going to make a long overdue effort to keep this blog up as it was intended, to chronicle the milestones of my boys and my journey through motherhood. It may not be fancy or eloquent, but I'm going to at least start posting what the boys are saying/doing once a week.

Seth: Got in trouble at school yesterday for choking a little girl who tried to play with his new friend. When I questioned him about whether he had seen anything like that on television, his response was "Yes, maam it was on a movie. It's called My First Movie All About Choking, starring me, Seth Johnston choking a girl at school." (Sometimes I really don't know what to do with this boy.) Later that day: "Mommy, you're the best mom I ever had." Tonight: :"Mommy, earlier when you told me there were no coaches for that train on Amazon dot com, I think you lied to me. I think we both lied to eachother today and we should just ask for forgiveness and start over."

Daniel: Pulling every book off the shelves and turning the pages.. emptying the contents of every unlocked cabinet.. playing in the toilet any chance he gets. Said "Dadda bye-bye" after Don left tonight, as if to say "Daddy left." Says "High five, down low!" Loves his stuffed bunny Thumper, and calls him "Gump-Gump." Favorite food by far is grapes. Holds his hand up and attempts to shout "Yay God" after the blessing, although its more like "Hey Gah!" Gives lots of hugs and kisses. Will pretend to offer a hug when he actually just wants you to pick him up so he can climb what you're sitting on. Climbs everything and attempts to jump off. Has NO fear.

The Latest on the Boys

I don't think two brothers could possibly be more different than my boys. I guess that's the beauty of motherhood, watching these tiny babies grow into individuals. So much is happening so fast, I thought it was time to record a little of it before time slips away from me, as it seems to be doing a lot of lately.

First, Master Seth. Sensitive, cautious, loving, imaginative beyond belief, a thinker, a comedian, a musician, a preacher and an encourager--these are just a few of the words that come to mind. He is my sweetheart.

Superman pajamas and cowboy hats are things of the past. Seth's new favorite clothing item is a red pirate do-rag, courtesy of a Pirates of the Caribbean/Happy Meal toy. He plays T-ball twice a week, where he is a pretty good hitter and runner, once he gets past all the "yucky" mud, and does some of his best daydreaming in the outfield. He towers over the rest of his team, but I think this is a fact of life he is adjusting to, as am I.

His latest obsessions include (1) knock-knock jokes and riddles, (2) David and Goliath, (3) spontaneous chatting with God,(not a bad habit) (4) historical disasters (Chicago Fire, Hindenberg, Titanic, etc.-- don't ask, he read it in a book--see number 5), (5) anything Daddy is interested in, (6) Thomas the Tank Engine and all things relating to trains, (7) spaceships, monstertrucks, racecars, anything with a motor basically, and (8) movies about all of the above, provided they are not "too scary." He doesn't talk about the planets as much lately as he used to, relating everyone to a particular planet, but still eats and sleeps "to grow up to be a man so I can be an astronaut." At one time, every ink pen, pencil or crayon in our house was a rocket. The same objects are now swords or lightsabres, depending on his persona at the moment, be it Peter Pan or Darth Vader.

Today Seth noticed "whiskers" on his legs and got so excited, asking if he was growing up to be a man like Daddy. This is by far his biggest ambition, as it should be. His imaginary friends are plentiful. Besides his trains, Seth frequently converses with his hands, Manny and Moses, who talk back to him in their distinct voices. At the moment, they are telling eachother knock-knock jokes in the living room. Of course, when Seth is wearing superhero pajamas, the hands become Supermanny and "Super She-woman." I have no idea where that one came from.

And then there's the singing. No description of Seth would be complete without impromptu creative songwriting. He seems to get great joy out of changing the lyrics to a familiar song to fit with one of his favorite themes. "Let me take you on a space cruise" is one example that comes to mind. Of course he's content to sing the original versions too, and his song library is huge. He seems to have picked up my love for the Swing era, early Elvis, movietunes and silly American folk songs. Sometimes he sings while playing his drums, keyboard or harmonica, but most often he can be found "driving" a vehicle of some sort across the floor or table while belting an appropriate song.

Yesterday I overheard the following while Seth was washing his hands in the bathroom: "God, its me, Seth. Thanks for making me strong and brave so I ran fast at my t-ball game today. It was a great game, but it was really kinda muddy. Well, you were there. You were with David when he fighted Goliath. I know you are with me always. You shape me with your righteous right hand... Well, I just wanted to say thanks!"

Can you say proud Mama?

I recently visited Seth's preschool classroom, where he introduced me to his classmates as "My sweet garden princess, but you can call her mommy." He is my "garden prince" and we "waltz" together whenever the mood strikes him, usually in our pajamas. It seems every time I put on a nightgown I magically transform into Cinderella Mommy, the sweet garden princess. I could go on, but there's your snapshot. Did I mention how much I love that boy?

Now for Danielbug. My angel. My "lagniappe." I didn't expect to be lucky enough to have two children, so he is my sweet surprise from God, the little exclamation point in my life. Daniel is now 8 months old. He is fearless, tough, busy, curious, independent, destructive, happy, cuddly at times, always adventurous, and always HUNGRY. Daniel will eat absolutely anything he can get his hands on. In recent weeks, Daniel has eaten three "spiders" off of a spider plant, part of a softdrink 12-pak carton, half a shopping list, countless other scraps of paper pulled from Seth's drawings, part of a cardboard picture frame backing, and about one quarter of a box of raisins--not the raisins, the BOX.

Daniel has an odd knack for causing things to "explode" without warning. He can turn a new pack of club crackers into a cloud of debris in five seconds or less. He can burst a sealed ziplock bag even quicker, as I learned at Wal-mart recently when he produced a shower of coupons and preceded to try to eat the bag they had been in.

The Danimal, as I affectionately call him, spoke his first two-word phrase today, and not surprisingly it was "Tot-dat" (stop that). I had to laugh as he parrotted me, happily shouting his new phrase over and over while he banged away on my computer keyboard!

Daniel is crawling well now, but prefers to "walk" in his walker. We have all learned to wear protective shoes when Daniel is around, or have our bare feet mercilessly run over. Daniel absolutely adores his older brother, and the feeling is mutual. If he loses sight of Seth, he will crawl to the edge of the living room carpet, or walk to the edge of the tile and shout for him, "Teh-Teh!" Daniel will not crawl on ceramic tile. This surface is apparently strictly for walking on, or banging on with Seth's drumsticks, another favorite activity. He will also walk to our bedroom door when Don is asleep and call out "Da-Da!" He definitely loves his DaDa, and DaDa is crazy about him too.

I have to add that Daniel is now the proud owner of two budding teeth, which we are all feeling the pain of. He had just begun to sleep through the night when the teething began, but I can't complain. This too shall pass. He is my little angel, even at 3 a.m.