Lessons Learned from SAHMhood

Its hard to believe its been nearly four years since I began my dreamjob. In celebration of the occasion, I pause to reflect on a few of the many lessons I've learned.

1. Life is just easier to manage with a little concealer and a good pair of shoes on.

2. Baby steps aren't just for babies. Sometimes I can't muster the strength to "clean the kitchen" or "tidy up the bedroom," but I can always manage to put away 3 cups, or hang 2 shirts. That first step is the most important.

3. The best prevention for child abuse is a good night's sleep for everyone. If naps can be arranged, so much the better. Cranky moms make for cranky kids, which leads to less fun for all.

4. Caffeine can give you a rush, as can taurine and ginseng, but you will inevitably come back down, usually in worse shape than you started. A much better rush comes from a good nights sleep, a nap or a brisk walk.

5. There is no mistake so big or bad that God can't make it alright. Even Mommy's make mistakes, and its good for kids to hear Mom say "I'm sorry."

6. Communication with God isn't optional-- its either going to happen the easy way, or the hard way.

7. When visiting the computer after the kids are in bed, always bring a kitchen timer and use it. The internet is a time-stealer from Satan himself.

8. Whether its the computer, TV or late-night housework.. take it easy on that morning girl-- she's you.

9. As the tongue goes, so goes the mind and body. To feel happy and healthy, speak happiness and health.

10. Even superwoman has limits. Its better for everyone if they are acknowledged.

12. When you lose the ability to laugh at yourself, its time for a mental vacation.

13. Caring for the caretaker is essential, not to mention the loving thing to do for the care receivers.

14. Sometimes you've got to put off the urgent to make time for the important. When you do so, its not procrastination, its balance.

15. When all else fails, put the kids in a bubble bath. If that doesn't help, put them to bed and put Mom in a bubble bath.

16. Do something you enjoy every day, before you forget what those things were.

17. It turns out cleanliness is not next to godliness after all. Simplicity is.

Just Keep Smiling... A Very Memorable "Vacation"

It wasn't until a few hours after we made it home, while picking up our puppy from the kennel and hearing myself recount our journey to the owner, that I suddenly saw the humor in it all.

"I'm glad to see you all made it home safely," she said.
"Well, actually, our truck broke down so we caught a ride home with family who were there."
"Oh," she said. "Well, its great that they had the extra room.. and I know you're glad you didn't have a dog with you."
"Actually, they had a german shepherd and a ferret with them. And a 9 month old baby."
"Wait a minute," she said. "You mean to tell me you just drove across the country with a preschooler, a toddler, an infant, a german shepherd and a ferret, and you're still smiling!?"
Laughing hysterically was more like it. (Emphasis on the hysterical.) We sounded like the Beverly Hillbillies!
"What else can I do? Sure beats crying!"
I didn't tell her that the oldest child had diarrhea, the middle child had pink eye, and I needed to see a dentist immediately. Some things are better left unsaid. "Besides," I decided to say instead, "the weather was great, and we're all alive." With a few more gray hairs maybe, but some very interesting memories.

P.S. - Did I mention my puppy was due to have surgery the following morning? Word to the wise: Never tell a two-year-old "Don't pick up the puppy.. he has stitches on his belly." This is a sure-fire way to ensure the child WILL immediately pick up the puppy to check out his stitches. Who needs reality TV when real life is this exciting?